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[06 Dec 2009|12:08am] |
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"you just want to get along, you just want to hang back, take it as it comes, don't be wantin shit, don't be askin for shit, don't be gettin up in nobody's face, don't be makin any noise, don't be makin nobody uncomfortable, don't be sayin what it is you got to say--just hang back, fade away, be real quiet, and get by, pray you get by, like that's all you get in this life, like that's all you deserve--well, fuck that, FUCK THAT."
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(come with me)
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[05 Dec 2009|12:44am] |
polaroid stories opened yesterday...FINALLY! the show definitely went the best it ever has, and i look forward to the final four performances with my cast.
two group projects and 5-6 finals away from winter freeeedooom!
(ps my birthday is in 11 days)
PPS IS THIS AMAZING OR WHAT?!?!
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(1 revolutionary | come with me)
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[24 Nov 2009|04:57pm] |
i have a lot to say but it all sounds incoherent.
the point is, two women i love passed away.
so gram, until next wednesday. i'm glad you are together with gramps again.
mama deeps, i'm so glad you got to meet your grandsons. we will all love them twice as much for you.
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(1 revolutionary | come with me)
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[01 Nov 2009|04:22pm] |
i love to dance. i love music that makes me want to dance. i love when my roommate plays it and sings it in her pretty voice. the eagles just stomped the giants 40-17. that was so lovely. i love the dances that football players do after they make a great play. eli manning has no such dance.
the past two games of the world series have been a disgrace. hopefully philly has a little enthusiasm after the football win today so we can send new york home crying.
we almost got evicted at the start of the week. womp womp! our landlord is quite the hot head. things are worked out methinks...at least for now. i love my apartment, plus it would be incredibly insensitive of him to kick out three poor college students in the middle of the semester or in the middle of winter or...at all. so.
my halloween activities were wonderful. on friday, brandon and i were hansel and gretel and last night i was a dead french maid roaming the streets of the west village. the fake blood i put on my neck kept peeling and it really hurt, but i guess that made the effect even gorier and more fun.
there is a class next semester i was creaming my pants over and for a while i didn't think it was running after all....BUT! not only is it running, but it's being taught by this great playwright. excitementttt :) this semester is lots of work but i'm getting through it!
and now, to aimlessly meander through anthropologie and drool over things i can't afford....
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(come with me)
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[27 Oct 2009|09:55pm] |
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please world, just go away.
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(come with me)
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[19 Oct 2009|09:38pm] |
wow. i'm shocked at my own lack of updates. thank you vince for continuing to entertain me with your fabulous life stories. this week will be purposefully relaxing to make up for the chaos that has been the past five weeks. this is a simple update, so i will just list a few things i'm thankful for and be on my way:
-my green eyes
-catching up on OTH
-my beautiful parents
-my beautiful roommates
-my new journal (to write down random thoughts and tape in random newspaper clippings)
-reese's.
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(come with me)
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[04 Oct 2009|11:05pm] |
"do me a favor before you go."
"ok sure"
"have a good day and have a better one tomorrow and may all the angels in heaven watch over you and yours."
literally. the comcast guy said that to me. garland from florida. yes his name is garland. if we ever have issues again i'm going to request to talk to him. awesome.
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(come with me)
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[04 Oct 2009|09:30pm] |
i really miss summer. iowa. my work. feeling purposeful and excited for each new day and SERVICE SERVICE SERVICE. i can't get enough. i want a life of service. this acting thing is becoming less fulfilling. i still enjoy it but anymore it just kind of feels like i know i'm good and i like hearing that i'm good. that sounds unethical. right? right?! obviously the arts is my passion, and that isn't changing, but the acting part is...up in the air. i simply can't wait to get done with school and do something new. i want to travel and see the world and experience cultures and people and religions and foods and customs and life beyond NJ. and i am still in love with b. womp. and he, okay yes, i'm talking about him again, it's absurd, (15 months!) he says he's ready to see other people. a week ago we were researching flights and on tuesday he broke my heart. that's the way it goes right? but i don't want to learn another life story, another person's ins and outs, another person's heart and body. i did it once, i fell in love once, and that's all i need. it's too much to patch everything back mentally and emotionally and then do it again! i just want us back. so that's why i miss iowa. because i'm dissatisfied with my silly super senior year and my 140 credits and my 12 hour days and my eternal singleness and my monotonous life and i just want to be dancing around with risa and j and heather and josh and sam in some sketchy iowa city bar.
however.
i read older journal entries and my spirits are lifted by my own former enthusiasm. i've been feeling half alive but...i refuse to feel mostly dead anymore. time heals right? the big smiles aren't far away.
i hear in my mind all of these voices, i hear in my mind all of these words.......
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(4 revolutionaries | come with me)
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[27 Sep 2009|05:19pm] |
this weekend has been decidedly relaxed. friday i slept and lounged around most of the day until rehearsal. i felt sick that whole day (and the 2 days beforehand) so afterwords (umm i thought that word was spelled afterwards...at least i thought that today and now i'm confused) i just watched beauty & the beast, took nyquil, and went to sleep. saturday morning i went to the farmer's market and lusted after all the tasty local foods, had rehearsal 1-6, hung out for a bit then went to tgi friday's and played kings. kim and i caught a bit of a bronx tale, which i had never seen before but i know is my dad's favorite.
i discovered pandora which is treating me fairly well thus far. once and awhile dido or black eyed peas or something vile like that will pop up but on the whole, the music genome project is a success.
i've been in a bit of a funk lately but since autumn is such a wonderfully fun time of year i promise to make the best of it. kim and i just researched some halloween costumes for the 3 of us...hmm...what to be...
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(1 revolutionary | come with me)
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[25 Sep 2009|02:38am] |
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i greatly dislike the $319 and 2400 miles separating b and me.
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(come with me)
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[16 Sep 2009|04:25pm] |
pleasepleaseplease:
fela
let me down easy
ragtime
banana schpeel
birdie
love loss and what i wore
idiot savant
addams fam
i need a sugar daddy haha.
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(1 revolutionary | come with me)
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[14 Sep 2009|09:01am] |
i think it is extremely funny when i log onto facebook and everyone's status is about the same thing. especially when i have no idea what this funny thing is. for example, when mj was in the hospital and they were still trying to revive him. and another: last night when kanye west apparently reared his ugly head at the VMAs. i must say i'm slightly relieved to be distancing myself from such things...not to say that i don't care about michael jackson or taylor swift but that i'm not the person who hops online to talk about it.
i watched gaga's performance on youtube today and it reminds me of jan fabre's je suis sang. now i didn't see his whole piece but i've seen the photo reel and excerpts and it's similar. people think gaga is weird but i think it's amazing and i hope she used fabre as inspiration because he is a wack job and it's awesome.
today is the first of many 12 hour days.
investigative spirit, investigative spirit...
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(1 revolutionary | come with me)
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[08 Sep 2009|04:33pm] |
my semester started last wednesday and thus far i am satisfied with my classes. however i am super disappointed by the apathy of college students in my accounting class because this poor professor is trying so so so hard to make everyone smile and enjoy this boring course. it isn't working for him and it breaks my heart. ugh i'm going to stop talking about it because i hate it haha.
i have a lot of stuff to do this week but i feel bad that i never update (if you recall, my laptop is defunct and so i just got wireless set up on my desktop last night).
THE ONE TREE HILL SEASON SEVEN PREMIERE IS NEXT MONDAY!!!!!! unfortunately i have rehearsal but there's a silver lining! i have dvr at my new apartment...i feel extremely decadent in this regard haha.
hope all your lives are hunky dory!
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(come with me)
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[22 Aug 2009|11:38am] |
this is, without a doubt, the longest i have ever gone without updating. i hope you all had happy, thrill-seeking, risk-taking, exciting, educational, adventurous, love-saturated summers!!
my time in iowa was basically the opposite of any kind of expectation i had dreamed up, but i am very grateful for my time in the big CR. i learned a lot and made friends from all over the country, survived living with a relatively harmless but nonetheless creepy older dude, gained several new skills, conquered my fear of public athletic embarassment, ate a lot, drank a lot, danced a lot, and all that good stuff.
i'm suuuuper excited to be back home though (one reason being that i left all my skirts and dresses home...what a mistake!), because this semester will be very very jam-packed with activity. i'm slowly gathering work for my upcoming theatre piece directed by robert woodruff, slowly acquiring things for my new apartment, slowly finding myself back in love with msu, and quickly getting adjusted to jersey life.
i love you all.
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(come with me)
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[28 Jun 2009|12:19pm] |
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it has been weighing very heavily on my heart that i am losing my best friend and my first love. let me tell you, being in love is horrifying...especially when the other person is not there with you. granted, we knew we only had a year to be close, but so much of that year was spent apart or spent fighting or spent wasting time. only in the last couple months have we really let a lot of that go and just focused on each other. but still i totally recognize that only one of us is in love, and that one is certainly not him. every step i take and every time i blink and every thought resounds with thoughts and images of this man who i have to let go of immediately. it's even stranger because we both acknowledge that we are not meant for each other for life or marriage or whatever. i see how our puzzle pieces do not fit very perfectly and that i will eventually find someone who matches me more naturally. but for now i am so wrapped up in how very in love with him i am and it's quite hard to see past that. we talk all day every day so that makes it even more difficult to separate myself and move on. face the music victoria, he is moving across the country. you cannot change that. you will not give up your life for someone who does not love you. you must let go.
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(2 revolutionaries | come with me)
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[24 Jun 2009|10:26pm] |
i like iowa. i got here saturday night and have been settling in and getting trained and stuff but today we did some "mucking" which means going into a flood damaged place that basically hasn't been touched and pulling all the debris, furniture, rusty metal, dried mud chips, etc out and get it ready to be gutted. the hard part of it is that we have to wear pants and long sleeve shirts and face masks so it is like ungodly hot and everyone is dripping sweat and soaking through their clothes and stuff.
i haven't had much of a social life yet because 1.) i am tired 2.) don't have a car 3.) the last bus leaves at 6:40.........what!? there's plenty of stuff to do (malls, movies, food, bars) but barely anything is within walking distance...EXCEPT the cedar rapids kernels, our minor league baseball team. i def don't have the money for that right now but it could be something fun. literally this stadium is like 2 blocks from my apartment.
i'll be honest, i often forgot that iowa even existed and kind of expected it to be this deserted place but cedar rapids is kind of a busy little city. the other girl that lives here, betsy, is really nice and i've made some americorps friends so i think it will be a great time.
i miss nj and i feel like there are A LOT of people i didn't get to spend time with before i left (grr strep throat you little devil) but please know i love you very much.
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(3 revolutionaries | come with me)
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[19 Jun 2009|11:16am] |
kitchen nightmares= best. show. ever.
all the episodes are on hulu and i looove gordon ramsay.
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(come with me)
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[18 Jun 2009|12:55pm] |
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okay so i've taken a moment and though i am very upset about the state of uncertainty right now...coldplay sure puts me at ease. did chris martin just drop on down from heaven or something?
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(come with me)
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[18 Jun 2009|12:07pm] |
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this week has majorly sucked. while i should be getting excited for iowa and going to philly and new york with b and going to my niece's 8th grade graduation and playing in the rain and eating all kinds of good food..........i have been living in my bed and eating apple sauce and cream of wheat. i don't even know if i'm going to iowa on saturday because my boss there won't email me back to say if it's okay for me to come since i'm sick. so in less than 48 hours i could be on a bus in chicago, or i might still be in this stupid germ-ridden bed. we'll see i guess.
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(come with me)
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